蜜芽传媒

John鈥檚 currently penning something which will change global culture. But what if we lift the bonnet of his genius? That is what we find out on today鈥檚 show.

For in that bonce is a V8 plucking words from the ether with such vim and vigour, and combining those words to make phrases, clauses and sentences. Word constructs which then combine to make reflections and musings that will make people go 鈥渉uh, that鈥檚 profound鈥� like nothing before.

The ease with which John hammers out words at such a pace would make Jilly Cooper, professional blush causer, blush. Pages churned out with an efficiency that if this were Bob Cratchit doing office based tasks then Scrooge would offer him a raise.

Elsewhere, there is combat over the combativeness of features and where the blame for that lies, whilst once again Elis is unreasonably put under time pressure to think of things. Plus, have you ever just snogged someone constantly for an hour?

If you鈥檇 like to pen your own novellas (emails / texts) then get in touch through elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.